WHY I DON'T HAVE CABLE TV

First of all, I really don't watch that much tv. Second of all, I have the netflix and get movies delivered to my mailbox, which is good, because theres nothing worse than going to see a movie in public just to have the annoyance of a bunch of idiots crunching snacks in your ear. I hate that!!! So the other day I get this flyer in the mail advertising this new cable special. Now I have very few interests and a short attention span. There are not many channels that I really want to watch, but I'm checking it out to see if it's time to upgrade to the new century. The basic package has a couple channels I like but to get the two or three other channels I want, I have to upgrade to the $1000 a month package that comes with 15 Spanish channels, 3500 home shopping channels, and a bunch of chick-flick all day all night channels. Why the crap don't they just let me pick 15 channels I'll actually watch? I'd pay three times as much per channel and be a happy guy. Can you imagine if a restaurant ran this way??? It'd be like, I want a steak, a salad, a baked potato, and a sweet tea. And they'd say, oh we have all those items sir. The steak is 528.99 and it comes with a yoga class, a snowboard, and some knitting needles. The salad is 237.77 and comes with some bubble bath, fresh flowers, and a box of sanitary napkins. The baked potato is 219.89 and you'll be pleased to know it comes with a workout video, a small pony, and 47 music cd's in Spanish. The sweet tea is award winning. Its 13.35 and comes with a bathtub full of gin, a record player, and plans to build your own experimental aircraft. That'll be a thousand dollars sir, please enjoy your meal.